Sister, Sister: Boundaries, Existential Crises, and Other Conversations
What happens when your podcast guest is also your sister? You get a conversation about existential crises, professional boundaries, imposter syndrome, and a few things you probably wouldn't share with just anyone.
In this episode of The Art of Being a Therapist, Ashley and Morgen welcome someone particularly special: Ashley's younger sister, Lindsay. And while Ashley and Lindsay share a family connection and a profession, their paths into social work look pretty different. Lindsay began in early childhood education, pursued school psychology, managed a restaurant, and eventually found her way into social work. Along the way, she discovered a passion for existential therapy, LGBTQ+ advocacy, and examining the systems that shape our lives. The conversation is a reminder that becoming a therapist isn't about having everything figured out. Sometimes, it's about getting comfortable with the fact that you don't.
Turns Out, You Don't Have to Fix Everything
Lindsay approaches therapy through an existential lens, exploring identity, purpose, grief, belonging, and what it means to be human, which sounds lovely until you're sitting across from someone experiencing something you genuinely cannot fix.
As social workers, Ashley and Lindsay share the tendency to recognize problems and immediately start searching for solutions. But Lindsay challenges the idea that every uncomfortable experience requires an intervention. Sometimes, clients are navigating circumstances without clear solutions. Sometimes, they're experiencing uncertainty, grief, or systemic barriers that neither they nor their therapist can immediately change. And sometimes, the most meaningful thing we can offer is our willingness to sit alongside them. Being a “good therapist” doesn't mean having the answers. It means being willing to stay present when there aren't any.
Yep, Therapists Are Allowed to Have Boundaries
One of the more personal moments in the episode comes when Lindsay recalls reaching out to Ashley after a particularly difficult interaction with a client. The client was angry, Lindsay found herself apologizing and taking on responsibility, and she wasn't sure what she was allowed to do. So she sent her big sister a voice memo. Ashley's response? You can set boundaries. You don't have to accept being treated poorly because you're the therapist. It's advice Ashley learned through her own difficult professional experiences while working for a large entity, and something she continues to emphasize in supervision.
Therapists are often taught to prioritize clients' needs, remain emotionally available, and tolerate discomfort. But somewhere along the way, we can start confusing compassion with self-sacrifice. Boundaries are part of what makes good therapy possible. They also give us an opportunity to model healthy relationships for our clients.
Different Career Paths, Same Questions
Ashley and Lindsay also reflect on the differences between their professional experiences. While Ashley has spent years providing clinical services, supervising therapists, and navigating complex systems, Lindsay brings a newer perspective shaped by recent graduate education, clinical practice, and policy advocacy. Her work with an LGBTQ+ organization exposed her to the ways social workers can influence legislative change, something Ashley acknowledges has influenced her own thinking about advocacy. And Lindsay's experience as a newer clinician offers another important perspective: graduate school can teach us about oppression, ethics, and clinical theories while still leaving us wondering what to actually say when a client sits down across from us. As Lindsay learned from one of her supervisors, sometimes you just need to be in the room with the person. Perhaps that's what makes this conversation especially meaningful: Two sisters, at different points in their careers, learning from each other. Neither has everything figured out. And neither needs to.
Join Ashley, Morgen, and Lindsay for a conversation about existential therapy, self-doubt, boundaries, professional identity, and the humanity of being a therapist. Existential crises are apparently a family affair! Listen to Sitting in the Uncertainty: Existential Therapy, Boundaries, and the Humanity of Being a Therapist on The Art of Being a Therapist: The Space Between Training and Real Life.
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